#but ✨you dont get to see that✨
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Here's the crab that I bought impulsively because dearest mutual @turntableart asked :>>
Silly dude
Thanks to my sister his name is Gloin btw
#i got him at some seaside shop thats really really fucking prideful so he has his birthplace on his back#but ✨you dont get to see that✨#because it will tell you my general location and I'm 💖paranoid💖#it took way too long to get that image because im in the car#then when i finally got an image that wasnt blurry the image had my thumb in it#which it bad because my thumb is grubby and manky and generally unappealing to look at#im rambling again loll#also lemon demon 💕💕#im listening to pumpkin pie rn#Addon core#mainly the chorus
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alright,,,,,is this newyears gift,,,,,, i dont no. but maybe it's late enough that i'll be able to forget that i drew this 😁😁😁😁 mttpoly doodles. whoever sees this sees this
#triglycercule kist is real i know someone that will be very happy with this#you dont know how badly i wanted to squeeze a horrorkiller on somewhere focusing on horror's spine#horror sane spin still on my mind. underneath that zipped up jacket is a crop top hand made by horror himself ‼️‼️‼️#auagahhhhhbtheyre all so stupid can you tell i didntbknow what to do for kist (but its nice and i think its cute and a little fitting)#did not finish (or start) the killer analysis so idk anything about him fully still#like this is a tad bit more platonic leaning (something i'd put in my fic) but i still like it#because killer's very aware of everything that will go on and dust has a no murder streak#and something something killer doesnt wanna have to deal with the pain that is dust's emotions#dust knows damn well killer doesnt mean to be nice but he's being nice anyway#and in my eyes dust is nice(ish)est of all of them (and respectful too i think) so he says thank you just because#it takes killer like 3 weeks to figure out how to respond to dust's thank you. i am too tired to figure out what he said in return#NOT EVEN THAT TIRED BUT I GOTTA STAY UP FOR THE SAKE OF STAYING UP‼️‼️‼️‼️ gotta wait until 2am...... then untitled2987601111 awakes#i'm seeing people read horrortale or like mtt stuff and i am very happy ✨✨✨ mtt nation is swell and the three pillars of it are smitten#(for each other)#everyone looks so weirdly good in this but whatever. time to post!#untitled29876011111 gets the full edition 😁😁😁😁😁#tricule art#thankfully its the middle of the night so nobody will see this x3#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#murder time trio poly#horrordust#kist#horrorkiller#mtt poly
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like many who have suffered at the hands of bbc merlin before me, i recently indulged in a thought experiment in which i outlined my own version of seasons 3-5 that stay thematically and tonally in line with the show (except they're less fucking stupid). but then i quickly realized that focusing on details is pointless: all you need is to solve the one Big Problem the show has, and the rest will follow. the problem in question? ✨morgana✨
i like the first two seasons. s1 achieves what it sets out to do and has fun while doing it, and s2, while flawed, sets up a ton of potential that the following seasons unfortunately squander, beginning with the insidious season 3. you can only distract me with cute knights and goblins and fart jokes for so long before i start seeing through you, evil, evil season of television.
my hypothesis is that if the writers had crafted s3 morgana into anything more sympathetic than a violent half-alive poltergeist that can never be reasoned with because she's suddenly terminally off her rocker, everything would've fallen into place. a sympathetic morgana would've made real, valid arguments against uther (and arthur) that wouldn't just be the ramblings of a woman possessed. her betrayal of arthur would have stemmed from her feeling increasingly morally superior to him because of his complacency in the face of their father's tyranny. under morgause's guidance she would stop believing that arthur is capable of change, and the whole point would be that she might actually be right. arthur would have to actively try and prove her wrong, instead of getting praised for doing the bare minimum because the bar is on the floor.
furthermore, morgana's prophetic dream about arthur and gwen becoming king and queen and her decision to prevent this however she can is a direct parallel to merlin learning about that same prophecy and making it happen by any means necessary. merlin's desires about his and arthur's futures are subtextually fueled by gay love and devotion, so why couldn't morgana's be? why couldn't she properly express her bitterness that arthur gets to be with gwen in a way she can't "took gwen away" from her, instead of suddenly declaring that gwen is nothing more than a servant, after two seasons of demonstrating again and again that she loves, values, and respects gwen more than anyone else in that godforsaken castle?
following this, an angry and emotionally volatile but still sensible morgana asking gwen to stay by her side during the coup of the castle in the s3 finale and gwen going behind her back to help arthur and the knights would've hurt like a bitch. double-sided betrayal! gwen having a real plot! the proper beginnings of a toxic yuri that would shape a generation!
then there's the utter hubris of having morgana shoot arrows at the same civilians she worried herself sick over for 2 seasons — even morgan, her medieval counterpart that was rooted in every sexist trope in existence, doesn't just go around killing senselessly but instead has (often petty!) personal vendettas against gwen, arthur, and the knights. morgana had every right to be sick of the pretensions around chivalry in camelot (she was always quick to mock it, even in s1), and to lash out at the knights and soldiers after years of feeling powerless in a castle full of armed men that blindly followed her oppressor. the show conveniently forgets that morgana was victimized as a woman as well as a sorcerer those first 2 seasons.
but like i said, this is not just about morgana. allowing her to remain a real and multifaceted character even as she betrays everyone in pursuit of her ambitions would've given the rest of the core four more interesting conflict to work with: merlin because he would have to experience real consequences to his actions, arthur because he would watch his sister go against his father (and his knights, and his birthright) and experience some actual internal dilemmas about it, and gwen because she would be forced to choose between morgana and arthur without the pretense that it's an obvious or easy choice for her to make.
even morgause and gaius would come off more interesting as mentors: neither one inherently evil or inherently good, both jaded by events that happened before our protagonists were even born, both heavily influencing morgana and merlin into fulfilling roles that they think are appropriate, but that morgana and merlin may not have chosen for themselves had they not been under their care.
you get the gist. if the show followed its own setup, morgana's mistakes wouldn't lie in cheap and senseless acts of violence but in alienating the people she loves because she is too hurt and jaded to trust them. meanwhile, everybody else would feel guilt over "failing" her and yet they would be too caught up in their own (sometimes flawed!) beliefs of right and wrong to truly see her point of view.
arthur would convince himself it was sorcery that corrupted her. merlin would know that isn't true but he wouldn't be able to argue without confessing everything, which is the defining conflict between him and morgana and it's cheapened when she's just an evil witch caricature and merlin is framed as inherently virtuous in contrast. gwen, too, would become a more active participant in her own life by choosing arthur over morgana and choosing to rule camelot with him instead of just waiting politely to see where things go.
and, of course, uther's downfall and death would be quick, final, and completely earned — when and why did the show even decide he of all people was the sympathetic villain, anyway?
lastly, and perhaps controversially, i think morgana should've learned merlin's true identity by season 4. her being the first of the main characters to find out makes perfect sense considering their shared history and their interconnected and mirrored arcs. even the show seems to agree, considering she does find out a little before arthur. but the narrative itself tried pointing flashing neon arrows towards this way earlier — there is a whole entire episode in s4 where merlin being emrys is repeatedly spelled out for morgana and she still isn't allowed to see it. that episode makes her look like the stupidest person to ever live, which is pretty funny im not gonna lie, but also another frustrating thing in the endless string of frustrating things that make up this show.
morgana learning that merlin has magic would've transformed the source of merlin's anxiety from a crippling fear of being outed someday to the crippling fear of knowing she could out him at any moment. this would make him want to beat her to the punch (perhaps he'd consider killing her for a minute and decide against it because she isn't a cartoonishly insane evil person in my version of events) and maybe he would even feel some tentative excitement at the idea of coming clean, now that it seems inevitable. after all, he always intended to tell arthur eventually! and i think gaius would have to admit outright that he does not want merlin to tell arthur he has magic because he, gaius, simply cannot risk such a gamble. it would be so interesting to see gaius and merlin clash and disagree once it becomes obvious that it's not merlin that isn't ready for the reveal, it's gaius. delicious!
with morgana's knowledge looming, things would inevitably spiral into a magic reveal by the end of season 4. i picture this season as an absolute mess of miscommunication between everyone at camelot, which is, y'know, canon. growing increasingly cunning and vengeful, morgana would use this tension to her advantage, destabilizing the court from the outside while she creates alliances with other sorcerers outside of camelot (instead of living alone in a hovel for no reason — morgana le fay i'm sorry i'm so sorry they gave you agravaine instead of your all-female entourage oh my god).
and here's where the events would change beyond recognition (aka here's where the meta becomes the fanfic i refuse to write). picture it with me: a militia of sorcerers infiltrates camelot and arthur and gwen have to set aside their differences (assuming gwen kissing lancelot and arthur overreacting happens, which it should) for the good of the kingdom as well as for love. picture high priestess morgana in her element, side by side with a bunch of misfit sorcerers that aren't so easily vilified, chopping down camelot's soldiers and knights and assuredly making their way to the newly-minted king.
then, just as it starts to seem that all hope is lost, in swoops merlin (the actual merlin, not his old fart disguise) on dragonback (kilgharrah hates morgana so much i know his sexist ass would stoop to anything to stop her)!!! imagine merlin showing off the extent of his powers in front of everyone and preventing the sorcerers from getting any further, declaring loud and clear that camelot is protected by him, by emrys. imagine that display of power alone being enough to send everyone home.
imagine the loyalties clearly drawn: merlin on arthur's side, morgana on the sorcerers'. imagine arthur, feeling confused and betrayed by everyone at this point, banishing merlin despite everything he's done for him in the angstiest, most emotionally dysregulated scene the show had ever put to screen. imagine merlin starting season 5 free at last but very lonesome, an embittered dragonlord like his father. imagine the absolute mess camelot would become without him, even with gwen — now queen guinevere — there to pick up the slack. imagine arthur actually earning merlin back, finally growing into his role as king as he does so. imagine the reunion.
all this and more could've been not just possible but inevitable if morgana was allowed to remain a complex character that is neither inherently good nor inherently evil: it was undeniably the biased and one-note treatment of morgana's downfall by the writers that set the precedent for literally everything else that happened after merlin chose to poison her. the show wouldn't have even had to jeopardize its tone or the monster-of-the-week vibe, all it would've had to do is admit that even the "good guys" are capable of mistakes and what makes them good is the ability to feel remorse and change for the better. (as opposed to uther, who was miles beyond redemption since way before the pilot and deserved to lose everything and die alone. OBVIOUSLY???)
in a world where morgana remains multifaceted and sympathetic, mordred would get a better arc as well, so if we really wanted to, we could still end on the same tragic note that the show ended on. with so much harm inflicted onto so many innocent people by the pendragons for so long (including mordred and the many druids and sorcerers that raised him), it could realistically end up being a little too late for anything more than one shining glimpse of king arthur and the sorcerer merlin's short-lived golden age before fate catches up to them. glimpsing that reality just to immediately lose it would've been far more satisfying and far more tragic than whatever the writers thought they were doing with all that pointless carrot-dangling.
and finally, an ending in line with morgana's new and improved arc. in this version, rather than bleeding out on the forest floor alone, she would channel the morgan le fay we know from the legends: sobered up by the reality of her brother dying, she would use her high priestess status (and perhaps also her pendragon status) to be granted passage over to avalon alongside arthur on the boat — a one-way ride — just to make sure he gets there safely. this is her penance for the harm she has caused, the same way arthur's penance is to die and leave the true ruler of camelot (gwen) behind to achieve everything he was too slow and indecisive to build while he still had time.
merlin's penance, then, would be to stay behind and watch them cross over without him, waiting and waiting and waiting until they come back or until he can finally join them. which is a bit fucking harsh if i'm honest, so i'd at least make it slightly more faithful to the legends by having him return as an old man and letting him take a long nap under a tree by the shore, his body slowly enveloped by vines like the cobwebbed fisher king in 3x08, never fully sure if he's dreaming or if there really are strange shapes fading in and out of the fog over the lake. still tragic, but nevertheless a little more open-ended and whimsical than [TRUCK NOISES] THE END!
#[johnny the dragon voice] ✨ MORGANA ✨#tldr: if you treat your villain with nuance then more nuance will follow and your story will be better for it! groundbreaking i know!!!#what im also getting at is that morgana broke free FIRST so she DESERVED to become the morgan le fay of legend#way before any of the others grew into their own roles.#morgana#bbcm#bbc merlin#analysis#merlin meta#morgana pendragon#theres no focus on the knights here but if you know me you know how angry i am about s4 and s5 gwaine at all times#so in a story with a more nuanced portrayal of villainy and knighthood i think he would openly question his choice to become one#and maybe he'd leave for a while#go home and sort out his daddy issues. have some fruity subplots along the way. visit merlin during his dragonlord era. that sort of thing#and interact with lancelot at least once!!! for gods sake#but i dont see lancelot surviving sorry. that dude will literally die for anything#also scientists and tv execs had not yet discovered bisexuality in 2011 and he already had everyone acting unwise#in ways that barely got past the censors :/ unsustainable#elyan however shouldnt have died. i know gwen ruling alone with only the lamest knights in her service is “the point”#but its a stupid point. elyan is her best knight and they rule camelot together. working class heroes etc.#poetic justice for their father who was murdered by uther + a fun narrative contrast to morgana and arthur#nightmare siblings of all time. banished from the mortal realm for their crimes. could never rule together. stinky#ANYWAY. I HAVE THREE (3) EXAMS DUE THIS WEEK. HERE'S TWO THOUSAND (2000) WORDS OF BBC MERLIN ANALYSIS.
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sighhhhhh so many guys are the same on here
“i’m obsessed with you, plsplspls give me one chance-you are sososo pretty. all i want is you, please let me see more !!”
…andddd then i stalk their page and see they reblog and follow a bunch of other pretty tumblr girlies.
clearly you’re not obsessed with me ? you’re obsessed with the idea of one of us tumblr sluts finally saying yes to you.
when i ask for obsession, i want total devotion. stalking me 25/8, collecting information on me slowly as time goes by, you obsessed with making me devoted to you, and obsessing over me and only me.
i ask for obsession but all these little boys masquerading as men don’t understand.
#mine <3#like pls i don’t think u understand#i need you to be OBSESSED WITH ME#god and so many ✨older men✨ who try and message me DONT talk to me like an older man actually would ?? wdym you’re sayings what’s up and yo#and wyd and talking like a teenage boy ?? by older man I MEAN PLDER MAN TALK#i should be getting names like dear and little one and sweetie and honey and princess and all of the above !!#not hey babeee lemme see some more 😍😍🥵🥵🥵#plsplsplspls for the love of god can’t you talk to me like a civilized human being UGHHHHH#not including some of my lovely man mutuals who i talk to regularly <333#anyways#thanks for coming to my ted talk
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Ca n
Can someone just
Can I pretty please be rid of my booba I don't want tgem-
#hhhh#im not like . dysphoric abt them or anything#im just#just when i see em in the mirror whwn im changing i go “ehhhh :/”#i would . much rather be flat thankyou#i mean theyr not that big in the first place-#but id prefer they ✨not be there at all✨#welp#time to get gender euphoria by drawing static shirtless (again)#sigh#i think i broked my gender#im like a girl in the way you call a boat a she#and a guy in the way you refer to a plant or smth like “look at him go!!!#and also neither like a neutral cryptid you meet in a liminal space at 2am#and also both cuz im the beautiful boy girl neither both and in-between you brought with you tonight#wgat the fuck#anygays#can i PLEASE have a flat chest thatwould be swagmas oka y bye#storm rambles#storm loses it#im just using tumblr like a public diary rn dont mind me✨✨
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ON THE LOW just realized what Sebek is describing here is Knight of Dawn's life... OGMG... 😭😭😭😭 not him being disrespected as a king (i feel like at the end the humans followed Henric and not Dawn and thats why they got a disagreement on the land leading to the war inside the Kingdom of Swords), being used as a knight, and also was hated as a child (as per this upbringing described by Sebek)... DAWN.... 😭😭😭😭
imagining that Dawn wasnt taught about anything about faes, only that he must kill them, yet he still dream to understand them even if the Silver Owls forced him to be ignorant and subservient to their selfish greed 😭😭😭✨✨✨
#GRGHGGSHAH WHY ARE WE GOT SM INFO ABOUT HENRIC AND DAWN BUT NOT DAWN AND THE HUMAN KING.....#i wanna believe the king is a good person as well but the frickingcjdj story doesnt tell much about him#SILVER OWLS LORE YANA TOBOSO IF YOU CAN HEAR ME#pls dont let them end up like those titans from book 6 they had sm banger lore and then ended up never mentioned again 💔💥#if we do get silver owl lore we'll probably get to see knight of dawn suffering yeahyeah... 🤩✨😭😭😭😭#but also it'll be good chance for the story to tell his reasons why he couldnt stop killing maleanor even though in our pov rn he could hav
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listen.....**cries**
lmaoo my apologies
#but fr tho dont worry ... a solid 1/4 of my 57 drafts are corrie related lmfao#I just need to a) find the will to live and b) find the will to draw#I'll get there someday#in the meantime be the change you wanna see ✨✨✨#asks
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pulps law is that whenever i get insane enough about something, i will inevitably attempt to make a persona 5 au, regardless of whether or not i am successful at it.
#pulp speaks#anyways guys youre never going to guess what au ive been thinking of lately .#i know the correct way to go about this is make sidestep the main character but you see#i will not be doing that. and actually in fact i will not be following the storyline of persona 5 in the slightest. because lol#but morgana exists in this au purely because i dont think the others would survive without him explaining what the metaverse is 💀#the rangers are a team of detective for the public sector in this au#and dr mortum is an unassuming everyday scientist that should not peak the rangers interest in any way. at all#in the video game that exists in my head the player can pick between playing julia or ricardo#it doesnt change the storyline that much but it does make the character relationships funky so#in my head chen is best friends with julia and argent is best friends with ricardo#chen and ortega stumble into the metaverse together so if you pick julia its two best friends in a life or death situation#but if you pick ricardo its your sisters best friend+kinda your boss in a life or death situation which personally i find extremely funny#regardless of which ortega you play with the other one doesnt know about the metaverse until id say like. the end of the first palace? beca#use thats when they start getting suspicious#and because this is ortega they follow them and find out about the metaverse that way#i dont think they become a phantom thief but i think they do end up covering the others asses irl#dr mortum still isnt actually a doctor but i think theyre the one providing medicine to them at the start of the game#theyre extremely wary of the rangers at the start and ortega can barely convince them to sell them things which they still charge-#-extremely high over. i think the turning point comes when they discover the metaverse because holy fuck they are So excited about it#both because of the implications and what the metaverse could be used For#chen is not thrilled about letting them know this but theyre kind of their supplier so its not like he can argue#i think mortum joins the phantom thieves eventually but as a navi#obviously its in their best interest to provide everything for free now that theyre part of the team but they still have to order supplies-#-so i think the way it works out in game is that theres certain days supplies can be ordered and you have to pay for it but the items can b#-picked up at any day of the week#but also i have no idea how that would work practically (its all in my head anyway so it doesnt actually matter but yk)#theres still more thoughts about this but im ✨running out of tags✨ and also i cannot organize my thoughts enough to explain it#im not main tagging this its going to be my silly self indulgent au for eternity ok
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when freedom is in sight!!!!!!!!
#(aka it’s my last day of work!!!!!!!!! i can see the light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!)#it’s like 2.30 in the am rn and i have to get up in less than 4 hours but. still!!!!!#im too happy to sleep lmao i feel like a kid on christmas eve again#this weirdass company culture says that we (the leavers) have to treat everyone to pizza or sth#isn’t it usually the other way round though? shouldn’t they be treating the leavers as a show of gratitude for their hard work?#but eh. the place is filled with cheapskates who only think about working us to the bone for the sake of their profits (i think)#so ✨s o r r y✨ dear managers no treats for you~~~~~ im giving ind*m*e (censored for copyright) to my immediate colleagues only~~~~~~#you can always feel free to treat me though~~~~~ :)))) my wallet is always open for donations dear managers o’ mine~~~#(this manager who expects me to treat everyone also outright refused when i asked her to treat me to beef wellington though :( sads :( )#(i worked sooooooooooo hard for you over the past couple o’ years and i dont even get free beef wellington~~~? :( )#but euuuugghhhhhhhhh since the team lead’s on leave today ig i’ll be the one in charge for the morning shift today too…#but it’s my last day~~~~ i wanna relaxxxxxxxxxx (<-same person who took a short nap on the clock earlier)#anyways!!!!!! i’ll finally have time for idol sengen after this aw yissssssssss wait for me asuna-chan im almost freeeeeeee#though. speaking of idol sengen… im still waffling about whether to have asuna drop swear words during the [spoiler] scene…#i mean. it’d make sense in terms of context/how abrasive she was being but. she’s an idol!!!!!!! choices man..#well. i guess that it’s retirement-me’s problem to think about lol. i need to get through just 1 day of work first!!!!!!#‘it’s starting to sound like you quit your job to tl idol sengen—’ n-noooooooo~~~? totally not i s w e a r!!!!
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Magic ask for a fancy collar?
eh- hey, hey, slow down with the spells...
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
[nope! sorry kazui. he gains a fancy collar, larger than his prisoner's choker, but definitely fancier. A small charm of a green apple dangles from the middle]
eh- ah....this is just embarrassing now... What is it with you all and cat-related tricks, anyway?
#rpgram#[ lie until it gets better ]#[ a magic trick? ]#[ a stranger ]#[ a message for me? ]#[ ✨now you see it... ]#//i have too many container tags#// spent so long procrastinating i relalised i forgot to draw on the milgram logo on the thing#//yeah its still there :) spells dont cancel out milgrams authority after all#[ stand in the spotlight ]
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Hi there!! Your milgram drabbles are actually giving me life. If you're still taking requests (if not, totally fine!!), how about Haruka and Colours? :)
Aww thank you so much!!! :D Thank you for the request ooh, it's such a fun prompt for him! I ended up going with something for him and Muu between the first two trials, but I still wanted the main focus to stay on his voice and growth 👍
“This is your wardrobe?” Muu's eyebrows raised. “That's all there is?”
“W-well, I don't own much else that I, I really like to wear. Sorry." Haruka’s mind whirled into a panic. His new friend had been in his cell for less than two minutes and he was already a disappointment. She knew a lot about clothes and fashion, but he didn’t know a thing about that. They’d have nothing in common. She’d grow bored of him, and hate him, and --
“Aw, you don't need to apologize! The warden should be sorry for making you wear this. Muu will have to fix it.”
“Fix what?” He bit down on his thumbnail. He knew there was a lot of him that needed fixing. That’s what he’d been told as long as he could remember. But what did she plan on doing that no one else could?
“All white does not do you justice. I'll request some things for you, okay? Let’s see…"
She spun away from the clothes to examine him. He squirmed under the sudden, intense gaze. She looked him up and down, without saying a word. He hugged his arms to his chest. He had too many painful memories of people looking at him like that. But at the same time, he hoped she would never stop…
Her lips twisted into a gentle pout. “See? You poor thing, you don’t feel confident in that at all.”
“W-well, it’s only that --”
“-- Don’t worry about a thing. Muu will get some neutrals, and a few accents. That will help bring out your eyes.”
“My, uh, my eyes?”
“Mm, they're your best feature.” She said it as if he were crazy for not knowing. His mouth gaped. He had a best feature?
“Speaking of, I'll have to grab some pins to keep your hair back, so you can actually see them…” She reached out to brush some of his hair aside. He flinched, but let her touch him as she tried out a few things. While poised over his face, she looked at him seriously.
“How do you feel about purple?”
He swallowed. How did he feel about purple? Haruka thought it was a strange question, but if Muu was being so nice to him, he should trust her. He should respond perfectly. He went back and forth on what the right answer could be. How did everyone else feel about purple? How did Muu feel about purple?
“Nevermind.” She put her hands on his quickly raining shoulders. He relaxed them. “I think I’ll go with green.”
He sighed with relief. “Oh! Okay!”
Muu continued muttering to herself about different colors and styles, to which he nodded along. If she thought it would help him, he believed her.
———
He stepped into the dining hall for breakfast. The prisoners were used to their routine by now, so nothing really caused disruption anymore. It was why Haruka was unprepared to be a disruption himself.
“Haru~” Mahiru called. “Wow!”
His eyes widened. As he scrambled for a reply, Mikoto nodded from another table. “So colorful!” All the eyes turned to him. Even Es turned from where they were speaking with Jackalope in the kitchens. They all smiled at him.
“How fashionable!”
“It suits you well.”
“Aw, look at you!”
The sudden praise forced his hands up to cover the huge smile on his face. “Me?”
He could feel his cheeks redden, but his heart raced in excitement. At their request, he did a stiff turn to show off the whole outfit. “Ah… it’s only because of Muu…”
“And it looks like I did a great job!” She appeared beside him, pressing her palms together. “You look wonderful.”
With so many kind eyes on him, he couldn’t help the giggle that spilled between his fingers.
“Buuut Muu can’t take all the credit,” she said. “Or your clothes. This is you. You look happier. You’re holding yourself differently.”
“I didn’t know…” He hadn’t meant to do that. That was a good thing, right? Haruka felt his legs shift, as he thought too hard about how he was standing.
Is this why he was forgiven? People were finally seeing him. Es really looked at them during his interrogation. The prisoners had noticed him more and more. Even the voices that whispered in his cell at night had taken a strong interest in him. And now, everyone was showering him with their praises. Muu was right, it was more than the bright colors he was wearing.
“Yeah, you seem more confident.”
He lowered his hands to return her beaming smile.
“I… I think I am.”
#milgram#haruka sakurai#muu kusunoki#i had a few different thoughts for the prompt -- maybe something with the crayon coloring from Weakness or something relating to the#vibrant bugs/fish in AKAA#but i really loved his trial glow up (personally i think he had the best one of t2!!) and wanted to work with that#ive been trying to avoid time breaks in short pieces of writing but i definitely wanted to show him getting the attention he deserved :')#i pictured that before all the t2 shit started to hit so everyone is in a good mood and genuinely happy to see him so confident#i hope his internal monologue wasnt too much but i had a blast writing it asdfdsf#a small dose of childishness but a big dose of needless anxiety ;--;#i dont know if haruka fans like seeing him and muu together but i wanted to show them interact because this treatment specifically would#have Such a good impact on him which makes me so happy#ahh i hope you enjoy! this was so much fun ✨ thanks again :D#drabbles
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Do you guys ever think about love. (Obvious question)
I’m now about three months out from ending my first ever relationship. It was complicated and good and great and sad and all of the above—somewhat tragic, yet inevitable. (Yes it was a wlw relationship, to everyone asking.) I finally got my first kiss at the ripe age of 21, lol. And we’re coming up on what would’ve been our one year in Fall pretty soon.
But, on the opposite end now. . . I finally feel like I’ve lost feelings for that woman. She’s still my friend, but that romantic energy is gone. I got rid of it. So did she.
I have always had complicated feelings about romance. I never felt it was something necessary to fulfillment in life (im birom/bisexual, for context, but there was a period where I wondered if I was aro/ace or some unique combo). I really value my independence and being able to do what I want when I want to. I know this is sounding trademark commitment issues, but I think it’s more that I’ve realized that maybe a romantic, long-term relationship isn’t for me.
Obviously, I’m happy for all those who want to pursue romance and long-term stuff, etc. And I know there are less tight relationships—like, I really like the idea of having separate bedrooms. But for me. . . I’m not sure if that life, in general, is for me.
I’m not sure that I want to have to take another person’s wants and needs into consideration when thinking about moving places, buying things, etc. Issa lot. I have friends who love me. I have friends who hug me. Obviously, other things would be nice, but it’s not like I’d be without people or touch should I choose to not pursue a partner.
I feel things about those posts that say “are they too close to be friends? Or are you just not close enough to your friends?” I think we should all be closer to our friends. And romantic relationships are not paramount. They can be enhancing, but, imo, they should not make or break life.
I just don’t think romance should be assumed as a default thing. As something required for happiness. As something everyone is expected to do.
I could be wrong about my personal preferences here—or, they may change overtime. I’m not sure yet. Just thinking about love, and such, as of late.
#love#2868#personal#idk how to tag this#i want to take aro#but like im not aro#but i feel my aro friends my appreciate this bc it perpetuates that idea that we dont need romance to be happy#one of my besties is aroace and we’ve had at length convos about this type of thing#its rlly interesting#i just. people assume romantic love is required for happiness#or something you need#and its expected. its so expected#but…as i get older#i wonder. do i even want that?#i have love. platonic love#and yeah. some things i will miss out on#but i wont be so tied to someone#ik this probably reads as commitment issues. but is it an issue if im not bothered by it?#if im okay with not having a romantic relationship and i know that about myself#then idr see an issue. imo#its a commitment ✨ awareness ✨#idk. i dont usually post stuff like this#but i feel things about those aro posts#that say ‘are they too close to be friends? or are you just not close enough w your friends?’#yk.#aromantic#friends#friend#commitment#commitment issues
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So I've FINALLY been consumed by BlurrBee but wanted to ask you something... How do you feel about ShockBlurrBee (the TFA one I mean)?
oh em gee hello it's been a hot minute since I've gotten an ask on this blog loll
Obviously I love Blurrbee, though I'm also a big fan of shockbee too. Sooooo. My thoughts on shockblurrbee...... Complicated actually!
At first I was like "mmmm I am not rlly a shock/blurr guy but. I can tolerate it with Bee buffer actually" but then I kinda fell off again bc I got super turned off by shock/blurr to an extreme degree </3
Now uhhhh . I think I can tolerate it again with the Bee buffer but I'm not super passionate about it. I think the tricky part is I see shockbee and blurrbee to be Very different timeline situations for them to respectively occur. Like idk, I often think Blurrbee ends up forming in a timeline where Bee closes off from Shockwave to heal alongside Blurr. While Shockbee I see it as Bee and Shockwave reconciling and that's how that conflict between them is settled. (Both situations I personally struggle to see blurr & shocks working things out. I struggle to vibe with them in general bc I see them not even having a particularly strong/"good" relationship before cubing anyhow)
BUT HEY that's just how I usually view these pairings and it's not canon at all. One can easily imagine a situation where they all grow close together, and I'll probably nod along with it and 👍. I'm not ur boss man be creative to ur heart's desires<33
#these days i also try not to let my grievances with fandom be my reasoning for disliking smth#even though i have . so . so many greivances with shock/blurr fandom. particularly in my frustrations for how blurr is portrayed#BUT WHATEVER . my main reason i dont rlly believe in shock/blurr is their relationship based on almanac entries by blurr#is blurr being frustrated with longarm as his boss and seeing him as foolish for his choice to assign him to earth#so i dont exactly get swayed by Oh blurr and shockwave had a tragic doomed toxic yaoi romance 💔✨....#i think they were just a boss and an employee lol. an employee that was judgemental of his boss even lmao#But thats not to say ive never liked shock/blurr content. i like my friend Loe's story with them#and honestly ive seen shockblurrbee that ive found cute too#THOUGH. ANOTHER TAKE. i think shockblurrbee works best as V formation poly.#in which the bee is the one with the relationship with the other 2 and not all of them together#but i dont hate when its all them together either thats fine#you'll never see me policing ppl for pairings that arent actually inherently problematic man.#like go nuts as long as its not like romanticizing abuse or whatevs#🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦#I'll have to check what my ask tag was again i forgot it#blurb asks
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back on my bullshit
and by bullshit i mean "rewatch MCD for the millionth time in a row and resist the urge to make an MCD OC"
i have yet to succeed in my bullshit.
#minecraft diaries#*makes another MCD Oc for the nth time and pairs them up with garroth*#he's my special baby boy#latest MCD oc is Skyen. they have a fantasy version of permanent photokeratitis and is the one who discovered Garroth outside of PD back#when he first ran away. and they were ✨Roommates✨. smth smth Garroth never shows his face to anyone but Sky and yet Sky is the only one#who can never see him. their blindness concept is admittedly ripped straight out of an old SkyArmy deviantart comic i read way back when.#they can technically 'see' except thats relative because they can barely see past their nose IF they hold their hand up to their face and#block out the light. they wear a bandana around their eyes and unlike AARON has an actual REASOn for it bc if they dont they get really bad#headaches and their eyes hurt due to being really sensitive to the light. they were taken in by an old man who lived in PD and taught them#how to deal with their blindness and essentially daredevilled their ass (also ripped off the SkyArmy Comic). they're still blind as fuck th#so while the heightened senses and training helped. they still like. need help with stuff they normally wouldn't if they had their sight.#they left PD to go traveling after the Old Man died when he and garroth were 18-19 and returned sometime after Aphmau became lord.#WHEN that is. i have not decided. there are a lot of options available for their return but im leaning towards 'before Donna's wedding but#AFTER garroth gets shot'#Skyen refers to Garroth as 'my friend' affectionately and Garroth does the same. they return to living with one another after skyen returns#and one of the first things they do is sit down with garroth and trace his face to feel if anything changed. which there has.#Skyen 🤝 Laurance: Blind Buddies!#Skyen helps Laurance adjust to blindness and lends him one of their bandanas to cover his eyes. Laurance jokes its because nobody wants to#see his eyes. Skyen dryly tells him that when he inevitably gets sand in his face he'll be thankful there was something to protect#his eyes against it. can you tell that i've thought a lot about this
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i genuinely so love how fandoms have their own ways of talking. in jokes, references, styles, expectations. like, yeah, it’s silly but i rarely find it cringy or annoying when people are just having fun and connecting with each other about a common interest
#this is specifically about how jake and amir fans ONLY talk in references on reddit and youtube#but it goes for any fandom ofc#every comment is a reference and every reply is a reference#if i don’t recognise smth as a reference i open up the script archive (a tab i leave open on my phone always) to see if it’s just smth i’ve#missed. and if it’s not in the archive i can bet my arse it’s from the podcast instead#idk i just think it’s cool that you can have silly enjoyable convos with ppl u dont even know#and i also think (at least in jna fandom) that it opens the doors for people to leave comments of fan creators’ works#*on#like it’s so much easier to leave a compliment that u know will be recieved well if u already have one scripted out for u#it also makes ooc comments that much more special ✨✨✨✨#like i get so nervous leaving comments usually but jake and amir already put the effort in in 2011 or smth#this one is dedicated to the people who say this vid is taupe and i get to reply taupe? dope!#my post#jake and amir#jna
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i love that ppl are talking about the real adult problems that come from being autistic, including substance abuse, but can we please be sure that we're not over compensating for this by making the false association that all autistic people who partake in drugs or alcohol are struggling/in a bad place/are abusing it???
#personal#a little annoyed bc there are very real substance abuse issues that come from being autistic#but simply using a substance doesn't make it substance abuse#even just using a substance as part of coping with life or as a way to destress is not substance abuse#pls dont do this!#substance abuse is a very real and scary experience and it looks different for everyone yes#but that's exactly why these blanket statements that getting an autism diagnosis and learning to unmask means u stop doing all drugs bc ur#now ✨ better✨ is a very slippery slope!!!#tldr: harm awareness/prevention/reduction > drug elimination pls and thank you#this is also coming from someone who smoked regularly in an unhealthy way but now smokes regularly in a fun way#it does help me with coping! and its not inherently bad just because its drugs!!!!#idk there's more thoughts and nuance to this i just see a lot of ppl lately equating all drug use esp with autism to drug abuse#and its like what happened to harm reduction and why are you not taking the same approach when someone is autistic ???????
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